I am so disgusting!

Jesus Christ! On my way to work today, I was passing a Harris Teeter with it's big Starbucks sign and I had to stop. Only here's the creepy part. I wasn't stopping for Starbucks and no I don't need Tampons (ever again...thanks DivaCup). Oh no, I had a craving for a fucking donut. Shit! So I got my fat ass out of my car and I waddled into the store (I am preparing for what will come if I make a trip to the bakery everyday). I moved straight for the bakery and became so excited. Is this what shopping addicts experience? I chose a donut with Christmas sprinkles all over it and I was preparing to grab it when I saw the light. OMG, for a dollar more I could get a whole bag of mini Krispy Kreme donuts! Well, I quickly grabbed my bag of minis and left the store (I bought these donuts with change from my piggy bank.)
Here comes the gross part. I ate 2 on the way to work, 2 when I got to work, and 2 on my way home from work! YUM!
AND
I didn't walk or run tonight. I think I can actually feel padding being added to my ass. Do you think I need an intervention? Just think a few years ago I wouldn't have even finished one fucking donut. Look what stress and depression can do for you.
I am going to go brush and floss my teeth 10 times now, well actually I think I will throw up first!
Sleep well.

Walk This Way

I think I need a new pair of shoes.
Hmmm, now I just need to figure out what I want.
I am thinking pointy toes, I want to make Clinton proud!
I am thinking sexy, high, and flashy, but not trashy.
Pretty shoes make me feel confident. Lately, I have been in a weird funk. I have questioned EVERYTHING that appears to be right in my life and everything that doesn't. I am reassessing all of my crap! I think I have finally figured out what I want and what I know I don't want! The baggage is getting trashed! I am not going to have any regrets.
Perhaps I need pretty, pink, flashy, sexy shoes. If only I could go to Nordstrom after work tomorrow! Everything suddenly seems perfect!

Revelations

OMG. Tomorrow is really Monday! I can't wait. I mean, I can't fucking wait. I get to get up way too early, get dressed, pack a lunch, and drive for half an hour to work. When I get there, I will be bombarded by rudeness, ugly people, and plenty of poorly dressed nit-wits. Then I can top it off by attempting to find a copy machine that actually works! Imagine that! I can't fucking wait. It is just too exciting. I can't sit still. Maybe a vibrator would calm me down. Hmm...Oh and I have a meeting after school too. That means I get to stay an extra hour and a half. Wow! I am too fucking nice to these people. Don't you want my life? I mean really...it is that great. I am feeling overjoyed at the moment. I want to scream from the rooftops HAPPY MONDAY TO ALL MY BITCHES, I MEAN MY PEEPS!
Is there a question you would like to ask me? The answer is no I am not drinking before work or at lunch and no I am not taking Prozac (Does anyone have some freebies? I wouldn't mind taking a few here and there.). This is simply the new me. Nothing will stand in my way. I am going to make 50 cents an hour, be verbally abused by someone, and STILL I will be happy. I will smile. I will love life because at the end of the day...work doesn't matter. My family matters. My friends matter. My health matters. Fuck the rest of it!

*In regard to my previous post, let me be clear. I will wear the top half of the outfit if my nether region is properly waxed. I have been really lazy for like a year now, except during swimsuit season, but that has passed. However, if it isn't groomed in the shape of a pumpkin (for the season of course), then I will wear the bottom half instead. I am REALLY flexible!
Can you hear me Bitches?
HAPPY FUCKING MONDAY!

Truely Southern

On Tuesday night I went to my clogging class. It is so fun and hard! One of my monkeys and I practice my moves during recess. I feel so southern when I do that dance. I imagine myself in the hills of NC with some goofy outfit on (that should only be used for role playing), dancing up a storm to hillbilly music. Anyone want to come see me dance?

I am exhausted...

...and shocked. I had the argument of my life last night, or so it seemed. It is funny how two people can seem to be whole and yet be so far away. How is it two people can agree on so much, but at the same time not agree on what feels like a really important one? I'm not complaining, just trying to sort out what I think. I feel like someone threw a curve ball and now I have to hit it. It isn't so bad. It is a bit of a relief actually and at the same time it makes me really frustrated. I understand that life isn't supposed to be easy, but can't I get a break here or there? So what is my next move? I have always been a planner. He isn't. I plan all the time. He doesn't want to. It isn't fair. He has never planned and could quite possible be happier then me (at work, I mean). How fair is that? All I did was plan and work my ass off at school and guess what...I hate my job. I HATE my job. So quit, right...then what. What is wrong with me that I can't figure out my next move?
Maybe I should start drinking.:)